First day of school 2011...the good and the bad.

Well the boys handled the first day of school great! (Caden=1st grade, Mason=Pre-k) Mason has been really nervous and wasn't excited to go until last night.  He said he was ready but he's said so before and then hid behind me all through the open house!  But he crawled into my bed early this morning and said he needed a quick snuggle before school...so I knew he must still be okay with going.  He then got up in his normal very happy, bouncy mood and got dressed, brushed his teeth and then got Caden up.  They both did an awesome job getting ready and seemed eager to go.  I was nervous on the inside, but smiling on the outside.

When we arrived, we took Caden in first and he immediately unloaded supplies and then started on his coloring...just like every morning last year.  He was good to go!
Mason held my hand and we walked down to his room and to my surprise he went right on in and hung up his back pack and then we found his desk.

He looked up at me with this sweet little nervous face and asked "Can I take a picture with you?" I tried not to boo hoo on the spot and said "of course."  We had the teacher take our picture and he sat right down and smiled.

He looked around at a few others who weren't so happy to be there and for a minute I worried they might change his mind. He just looked back at me and asked "if I was gonna leave him?"  I said, "yeah I will have to soon."  He gave me a hug and kiss and then started playing with his playdoh.

I am so proud of him for not being scared. (and making it easier on momma!) I don't think I made it all the way out of the building before the tears came..and many more followed at home as I looked over the pictures I had taken that morning.

It has been 6 years since the last time I have been home ALONE in an EMPTY house.  A very quiet empty house.  I know I will get used to them not being here but for this morning, I am struggling.  I cried on Caden's first day, but I at least had Mason at home with me.  And I got used to his morning "snuggle time".  Now it's just me and it really hits home that they are only going to get bigger, older, and inevitebly get more independent needing and seeing me less.  That is a hard thing to come to face with as a mom.  Not only as parent, but more as a stay at home mom, they have been my most important job and responsibility day and night and it is going to be an adjustment going from them being with me over 90% of my day to around 25% now.  I love these little boys so much and hope they have many great learning and happy adventures ahead of them, today and always.